was thinking why people strugle with having cause to live, or feeling empty and not wanting to live, and honestly, i dont understand this feeling, till this day. is this because i am ignorant? am i too distracted with wordly perks what i fail to see bigger picture? why am i so blind? or i am not? and even someone will ask me why you want to live? whats making you keep going to university or work or keeping working or wake up everyday. i would answer "i dont know, probably to be better", even tho i dont know what i will achieve after being better. but luckily this "being better" game is infinite, so i have time to think of better answer ))

when i was searching for alternative perspectives, i really liked the quote from elon musk in one of his interview to lex fridman, he said "we need to just keeping doing or die trying" and this quote clicks to me everytime, it is not important to have to some exact goal, very clear. we dont need that. we need some abstract, unreal, never-achievable goal, the one we wont ever will be able to go near to, and we should die trying. we should pursue some greatness while knowing we wont ever in our lifes achieve that, just as imagining sisyphus happy :)

the best quote i heard today was given as answer to the question: " are you happy?"

and Chirstoph Waltz said: "not, unconditionally"

and i remember some uzbeks were happy after trump won elections, but his election campaign had the strict immigration policies as a priority, which includes illegal uzbek people who are there so their familes here can survive or have a good life, smh

saw a video where one history teacher shows parallels in the history, and as we know history repeats itself, thats why i am a bit concerned now. here is what i understood:

after WW1 germany lost and had to pay reparations to countries who won the war and when it failed to do so france and belgium took Ruhr district which was very industrial center of the germany and coal production, then, in 1935 when hitler was in power and started regaining power he took that region back by breaking the Versaille treaty, and then in 1938 when hitler claimed that sudetenland, the region in the czech republic, had a majority germans who were being oppressed by czech government and they wanted to join germany, and the munich agreement was signed by major powers, like britian, france, and italy to give that region to hitler. lets say they were not resisting that much to him and then the annexation of the austria and the rest of the czechoslovakia, no body did nothing, and at the end he thought this will happen when he will invade Poland too, but that miscalculation happen to start the WW2.

and now, look what Trump doing. almost invaded and toppled the government in the venezualla, threataning to invade the greenland, cuba, columbia. openly trying to intervene iran's situation and probably one of the causes of that unrest happening there. if the world continues to sit and do nothing, trump will start wanting to do some dumb things, which is concerning.

stackoverflow the iconic platform for coders for over a decade now almost useless, nobody asking any question there and why to ask when you have last version of chatgpt or cursor pro that will write all code for you and fix all bugs only if you ask it

about vibe coding

at this point if i will get around 1000$ limit for on demand cursor usage i can build anything with AI agents, and many people i know doing this and honestly what a time to be a programmer, but i am wildly concerned about the future now, like everybody is vibe coding and not writing actual code for month or even year. even in universities cs majors doing projects with claude and not actually learning, and we are getting bunch of vibe coders who "make stuff" but in reality doesnt fully understand the code they "prompted". we getting hella dependant on these big companies and software is not here forever. or i am just being drammatic as if people used to speculate about calculators, we will see

btw, this website was also vibe coded. hypocrisy at its finest :)

did some research on system called "dead hand" (система Периметр), which was an autonomous system in USSR in times of cold war, and its only mission was to lunch a rocket that has warhead which will send signals to nuclear triad (earth, air, water) to launch all missiles left toward USA when no connection with high-ranking commanding personal of ministery of defense is available and several radioactive and seismic activity is detected around the teritory of USSR.

and this system is still active according to some tweet by Medvedov

hope i can keep this rate consistently, at least will return home on foot after work, if cant find spare time

about gifts

not gonna lie, some say i am pretty good at giving gifts, and wanted to share my opinion about this culture thing

first of all, "the attention is what important in gift". cant agree more with this, BUT this "attention" is "attention in details". not giving a book to person who doesnt really read books, or giving something just useful might not be good idea sometimes. we give presents, at least myself, to people who we know about, about his or her favourite color, favourite movie, show, book, character, sport team, dreams, pet preferences, and so on. everybody likes to be treated as special ones, everybody wants to be seen as unique, and get individual presents.so by knowing these details about the person, it is better to focus on that, not what you think is good present, or what you would love to recieve

tbh i dont think i said something new or niche, very cliche but surprisingly many dont consider that, or just dont listen enough from the other person.

just listen, they talk about what they want all the time

last week noticed that i am coming to the age when i have to really do something to maintain my fitness levels, othervise i will lose it, last summer i used to go out for night runs with friend where we could run for 10-15-21 kms non stop, and only stop cuz of some pain in ankles, which imho was pretty good for us who were not doing any active sport for years. but yesterday again wanted to check my theory and it is proved now, i am getting fat and very slow and fragile.

for comparison last year:

and yesterday:

and was so tired after 4km that had to give up my original plan of 5KM, and i think my heavy clothes also played a role.

all cuz of very little daily physical activity that i am exposing myself and even in numbers it is clearly visible:

and in my opinion thats, as a 20 year old i am failing in life, yes, work, but having health and fit body is not optional, it is must for every person. i thought about going to gym but then felt like lifting weights and getting big and gain tonn of muscles wont help with mobility and endurance at all, so let alone running is enough for now. btw, what i am saying is heavily inspired by Socrates:

It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.

so have to go back to active physical lifestyle asap

this is not information post, just sharing for myself

2018 was indeed peak of music industry, at least for our generation

and i wonder whether for the previous generation, for millennials, have such year or period. when it comes to film industry, imho, 1994 and next several years were peak that set the top tier threshold

sad to see

saw an interesting video about how uber's mapping and client-server exchange backend works and wondered what map provider they used and was lazy to look it up and then later today i googled about mapping service for datasets for project and found kepler.gl, which looked very dope with black theme, and turns out thats exactly what uber uses and they created this themselves

such an interesting intersection

computer doesnt see the difference between chair and our faces sometimes, and we are here drinking tea and thinking machines wont hurt people

what is going on with venezuella???

It works!

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